28 Minutes Later
by R.O.TR
Summary: For never was a story of more woe than this of Excel and her Il Palazzo. Story completed. Yay.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own Excel Saga. If I did I would be out living in a limousine on my yacht. Or bent over a dark desk drawing during large breasted manga females. _

Chapter 1

"Do you know why I have summoned you here?" asked a low voice, with more then a threatening undertone.

Jack Holder glanced around. One person was idly flicking material out of his fingernails, while the other, who appeared to be blind, had just had a close encounter with a wall. He leaned forward, trying to see the figure clouded in darkness. The figure backed away.

"Don't do that. So do you know why you are here?"

"Well not really."

"Well basically the author isn't up to date with happenings so decided to chuck in a hopefully new situation to make a story."

"Pardon sir?"

The man cleared his throat. "What I meant to say was conquest of this city offers a foothold from which control of the entire universe can begin!" The man began to laugh using evil Bond villain laugh 5©.

"Isn't that a fruitless task considering the fact there is no means of traveling the universe without dying due to old age?" asked the person bored with his nails. "Doesn't sound like much of a plan."

"Look" said the villain resting his head in his palms, "I'm playing a villain in a two bit fanfiction written by a damn otaku. It's likely this won't make it past chapter two."

"That's two chapters too many!" rang out a voice from above.

"WTF?" asked one of the men.

"Oh dear god internet slang already" commented the still unnamed leader, his head resting further in his hands.

From high above Nabeshin jumped down to the floor, afro blowing in a heroic manner. He rose his hand and pointed towards the shadowed figure.

"Hah Kensuke Dante my old enemy!" cried the man.

"You!" replied Dante.

"Yes of course! Dante you should have known better then to come here. Especially after what happened. You have no right to be here. Only I may break the fourth wall. You shouldn't do this. How can this tale be anything but a rehash of _Excel saga? _(_Imperfect DVD collection out now ladies and gentlemen, just in time for Easter and summer_). How could you think this would work?"

"I was bored and had nothing better to do! By that I mean it is my destiny!"

"Time to die!" yelled the blind man pulling out a machine gun.

"Oh crap."

Several thousand bullets and footsteps later the blind man found himself standing in New York. Holder and the person annoyed at being known as the one with the nail habit stood, watching in a mixture of surprise and extreme boredom.

"What just happened?"

"I don't know" replied Holder.

"Now we must fight!" yelled Nabeshin.

"Fine by me" replied Dante.

"Stop now!" Another figure landed on the floor. He was dressed in a dark trench coat, complete with jeans, boots and a fedora. Holder sighed. Less then five hundred words in and another character introduced.

The figure, crouched on the floor, slowly rose, standing tall. Across his shirt was written R.O.TR. He quickly pulled the coat together lest someone see it.

"Who are you?" asked a confused Nabeshin.

"My name is Thor. Au Thor. The title I like most is _The._"

"What are you doing here?" asked Nabeshin.

"You cannot merely wander into this storyline and attempt to end it! This is not your medium of um…media! You belong in the television world! You belong with your show!"

"I see" said Nabeshin, slowing drawing a cigarette for dramatic effect.

"It's not fair! It's not fair! All I want is to be loved for my writing abilities" bawled Au.

"I see" said Watanabe furrowing his eyebrows. The cigarette was now gone. _Didn't want to get in trouble with anti-smoking organizations. _

"This all seems a bit serious" whispered the _still _unnamed man.

"Meh, I don't think his excel saga DVDs have arrived. He hasn't got any jokes to rip off at the moment."

"My God you mean…"

"Yes, this is all narrative and plot development."

"There's a plot?"

"**Silence!**" boomed Au. "_It's a slow burning story._"

"More like a boring story" whispered the blind man who'd reappeared for very little reason.

"No more" said Au, "Watch my power!" The blind man suddenly vanished. The writer couldn't really think of anything funny to do with him anyway.

Nabeshin grinned and reached for the afro. "This ought to be over soon."

His hand suddenly stopped as though possessed, or questioning whether to touch a sweaty fat person. He looked at it in surprise, trying to force it to grab the weapon.

"W-what is going on?" he asked.

"Yes, what?" asked Dante, now a bored onlooker.

"In your world you were the hero, the deus ex machina the man in control. But this is my world. My rules" said Au, brushing his blond hair out of his face. He laughed.

"W-what's happening?" asked Nabeshin.

With a dramatic glowing effect created by five light bulbs built into his coat, Au began to step forwards. He paused, quickly pulling on a pair of gloves. He pointed at Nabeshin and began to grin.

"You are my prisoner now. This is **my **story!"

High above them rain slowly hit the metal roof. They stood inside generic villain warehouse number seven™. The large windows were briefly illuminated by the flash of lighting. By the window stood the figure of Rikdo Koshi. He looked down at the trapped Nabeshin, figuring out a plan. Suddenly it came to him.

With a great turn of speed he leapt from the window and sprinted away.

Freedom.

Precious freedom.

* * *

"Hi there, the beautiful Excel here! I'm sure you are very disappointed I've let to make an appearance- the perverts that you are. But never fear! I, Excel will be in the next exciting chapter! Isn't that right Thor?" asked Excel turning to face the man relaxing in a dressing gown.

He rose a thumb and spoke with a voice of a greasy teenager. "Sure thing. If you don't turn up this won't be much of an Excel saga story and people will probably get angry at me.

**They must love my writing!**"

"So keep a look out for Excel and the wonderful organization of ACROSS! All coming in chapter two!"

Thor leant back and sighed. "Should have written a Neon genesis self insert story."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Hail Il Palazzo!" exclaimed Excel, standing to attention and saluting the man. Hyatt, currently a paler shade of a very pale color was tied to the wall by a few pieces of string, a job hastily done by Excel when Palazzo's back was turned. Stealthily she pulled on another piece of thin string which slowly rose Hyatt's cold arm.

"Excel, Hyatt this world is still corrupt. And all despite our progress…"

"Yes Il Palazzo!"

The man paused. "Excel, you are aware we have currently made no progress I assume?"

"Well-um…huh." Excel was caught- trying not to disappoint the man with news of his failed plans while also not wanting him to believe that maybe she didn't believe what he said. Finally she mumbled a quick answer and turned away.

"However one does not become leader of such a great organization without himself being a great man. We have run into some problems- but of course I have planned for every potential outcome. And every potential outcome I consider possible is victory for ACROSS."

"Yes sir Il Palazzo! Tell Excel what is required and she will do it for you!"

"Indeed. However it is hard for an organization to do anything without money. As such I require you to obtain money for the organization."

"Yes Il Palazzo! I will get money for you! I will lead a devastating attack on the bank using the power of fear surprise and the threat of pain!"

"Excel, you fail to realize how little money we in fact have. Fortunately for you I have managed to find jobs for both you and Hyatt during your holiday." _One week spent in a hospital after a previous mission. _

"Oh what am I doing here?" asked Hyatt, awakening to find herself tied to a wall.

"Whoops" said Excel, quickly freeing the frail women.

"What is happening Senior Excel?"

"Ha chan, Lord Il Palazzo has been kind enough to find us jobs for money to aid ACROSS. Knowing our glorious leader he has found us great jobs! Hail Il Palazzo!"

"And here they are" said Il Palazzo handing a piece of paper to Excel and then Hyatt.

"Thank you Lord Il Palazzo" said Hyatt softly, "Deputy manager at this store ought to pay well without being physical enough to cause death."

"Deputy manager?! Well I wonder what Excel has received then!"

She looked at the piece of paper. _Shelf stocker._

Confused she looked at Palazzo. "Lord Palazzo, what is this?"

"Think of it as chief replenishment and quality control officer" said Il Palazzo.

"Hail Il Palazzo" exclaimed Excel saluting, "I knew you'd get me a wonderful job. _A wonderful job to match a wonderful man_" she whispered.

"Your work starts tomorrow. Hyatt your times are 0900 to 1800 on both Friday and Monday. Excel you times are 1900-2100 three times a week, and 0600 to 1600 hours on a Sunday."

"Y-yes Lord Il Palazzo" said Excel. Six o'clock on a Sunday?

Her thoughts were interrupted as a brick suddenly fell from one of the sewer pipes, smacking into Excel's head, knocking her to the ground. Hyatt stepped over the comatose and drooling figure and picked up the brick.

"Lord Il Palazzo, it looks like you have a message."

-

Earlier…

"Evil plan, evil plan got to think of an evil plan" said Thor, tapping his forehead.

_Humph. _

The man looked across at Dante who seemed to be busy sulking. Thor cracked his knuckles and then turned to face the man.

"Is there something you are upset with? Something you want to talk about?"

"I thought I was suppose to be the main villain" whined Dante.

"Your five minutes are over. I am, and have always been the true head of this organization. However battling with me guarantees victory. _Because I have a secret weapon" _said Thor, his voice trailing off as he typed _his voice trailing off _on the keyboard.

"I see. So what is your plan?" asked Dante, trying to peek at the screen.

"No cheating. I haven't decided yet. How about…blocking the sun?"

"Been done."

"Create the Alan Parsons project?"

More head shaking.

"Of course!" said Thor standing with a hand raised. "With the power of modern technology we make a powerful weapon disguised as something normal- so as to be never discovered. Using the power of magic and creative freedom we create a notebook. A notebook which has the power to kill anyone who's name is placed into the book- while keeping their face in your mind of course. Don't want any accidents! I will call it the Death Diary (™ pending)."

Holder raised his arm.

"Yes?" asked Thor.

"Um, sir I think if you did that you would probably face financial penalties and legal action. Also you wouldn't be seen as being very original."

™ rejected!

Thor scratched his chin. "Ah screw it lets just take over this city. No one else is trying right?"

"Actually I think someone is" said nail picker man, looking up from his laptop.

"**For God's sake my name is Graham Smith!**"

"Who are you talking to?" asked Dante.

"No one."

"To hell with it. If anyone asks I'll say I came up with the plan, and just spent so long planning it perfectly the other person sneaked in before me."

"Good plan" groaned Dante.

-?-

Nabeshin tried to walk towards the door. No luck, arm chained to the wall. Him chained in a dungeon. Dante being used by a super villain. He grinned. Just like old times. Even the nail picker was around.

"**It's Graham Smith!"**

_Think, think, think. _There had to be some way out of this prison. But even if he did escape, who could he turn to now. The man was right- he was used to the world of animation, not the world of words, plot holes and spell checks. Even as he sat there he felt a vulnerability not present before.

What could one man do against such misuse of author powers?

"Hah!" he yelled pulling a chainsaw from the tangle of hair and cutting through the chain. He might not have complete power here- but he was still Nabeshin. And he had the power and experience of twenty six episodes behind him.

All this person had was an uncompleted Excel saga tale and a few stories written as a spotty fourteen year old.

But he needed help. And there was only two people crazy enough to help him. Well…two people and a dog. He kicked open the door and rushed away. He knew he didn't have much time to resolve this problem.

Exams were arriving soon. The story could soon be forgotten.

-

"Hmm, apparently someone else also plans on conquest of this city" spoke Palazzo.

"Who Lord?" asked Hyatt.

"Doesn't say. And no one left a return address on this brick."

Excel suddenly leapt up from the floor.

"Do not fear Lord Il Palazzo! Excel will fight to her last ounce of strength to help you rule this city."

"Weren't you injured?"

"I guess the last interlude gave me enough time to recover!"

"Very well. It would appear someone else knows of our plans. You must stop them!"

"Hail Il Palazzo!"

"You know it's strange, but I feel as though I've forgotten something."

"You know-" Excel suddenly stopped, knowing what that would mean.

"Ah of course" said the man, as the rope slowly lowered. Excel closed her eyes as the floor beneath her disappeared.

_**Thump!**_

"See Hyatt, we have so little money I couldn't even afford the water bill this month."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Political satyre…tire.

Two unnamed people stood chatting for no apparent reason. They stood powering up for a rant of epic proportions.

"Geez that excuse is as bad as the one about…"

"Stop it! Stop it right there!" said Thor standing over the two talking people.

"Why?"

"This discussion offers nothing new. It has been heard and overused before. It isn't funny. And owing to the overall demographic of readers pursuing down this route is likely to lead to more negatives then positives."

"You changed man. It use to be about the passion, the thrill, the enjoyment of writing. What happened to you?"

"I grew up. So should you…"

"At least our stories get reviews" muttered one of the people as they slowly walked away.

-Kawaii!-

"A-CROSS, A-CROSS" sang Excel as she skipped down the aisles. As she skipped with less then great accuracy she threw packets of crisps (potato chips for all you Yanks) at the various shelves. Some landed neatly. Two took out the low lighting used during times when the store wasn't open to the public. Many more smashed through the thin walls into the opposite aisle.

She paused as her stomach growled. She picked up a packet of crisps and suddenly split them open.

"Whoops, what a silly Excel I am! Well no use in letting it go to waste" she said, stuffing the snacks into her mouth.

"I don't think you should be doing that" squeaked a voice. She slowly turned, caught in the act. Again.

A spotty seventeen year old in desperate need of a haircut and shave stood there. He was slightly nervous and very quiet.

Her superior. (Six months of experience)

"This isn't what it looks like."

"Well then what is it?" he asked, rubbing his lame student attempt at a beard.

"An…accident…?"

She walked forward and crouched down slightly, the boy not exactly tall.

"You wouldn't get Excel into trouble would you?" she asked worriedly.

Uncontrollable, forced by his male hormones, his eyes slowly began to move down, as the chest thrust out in the soft wooly jumper. A jumper that fitted very snugly… He suddenly blushed and moved back, rubbing his head.

"Well I guess it would be unfair to do anything" he said bashfully, "I mean they would have been chucked away anyway."

Excel backed away smiling. Her acting talent had helped her again, making him believe she was a poor timid girl who knew no better. However it was another part of being a women that had got him to change his mind.

Besides, he'd been working there for six months, and she was the only good looking one to have been employed in that time. No way was he getting rid of that. He was a teenage male after all. Besides he knew she'd probably be able to kick the crap out of him if he decided to tell on her.

Excel's phone suddenly rang. The boy opened his mouth to speak, but Excel's voice was easily louder then anything he could muster.

"Il Palazzo? Yes…I'm at my job. You need help? Why of course Lord Il Palazzo I can get there! I'll get Hyatt and we'll arrive soon!"

Excel sped away, leaving a colossal pile of crisp packets resting on the floor. Her time at work today stood at just over half an hour. A record for this job so far. The boy sighed as he began to pick up the materials. The audience, already bored had paid little attention to this unnamed character. Little did they know that very soon he would be reappearing.

Crap. Another original character.

---

Hyatt rested her body (a dead weight) against Excel who kindly held up Hyatt's hand as the two saluted the man.

"My Excel, it is nice to see you arriving here in prompt time. Weren't you not at your place of employment?"

"Yes Lord Il Palazzo! But Excel is always ready for action to fight for victory for ACROSS!"

"Have you not frequently left your job early?"

"Yes Lord Il Palazzo!"

"And yet you currently remain employed?"

"Yes Lord Il Palazzo! Employees consist of Excel, Hyatt, crazy checkout lady, unnamed boy and disinterested owner!"

"I see. And you still get paid?"

"Yes Il Palazzo! With this weeks wages I will make enough to pay back the store for damages!"

"I see. Do you know why I have brought you here?"

"To carry out our various secret activities for world domination?"

"Indeed." _And also because the story is in danger of dragging on. _

"Thanks to poorly protected internet connections, and impressive boasting on myspace we…I mean I have managed to find out the secret location of our enemy."

"Hail Il Palazzo! Excel will head to this place and vanquish your enemies. All for you Lord Il Palazzo!"

"Very good Excel. However certain sources have informed me of something bad being upon the horizon. The journey may be long and dangerous- but I have found someone to help."

"Great plan Lord Il Palazzo!"

Hyatt managed a faint _hail _before fainting again. Il Palazzo flung a paper airplane across to the waiting girls. Excel bent down to pick it up, Hyatt falling to the floor. The fanservice manager ensured an overdrawn shot of her cleavage. However the bashful writer decided against going into detail. At that point half of the readers closed the internet window in disgust. Their hopes of a lemon fic had vanished within three chapters.

"Excel will get into the action as soon as possible! But first she must get Menchi, so if we get in a difficult situation we don't need to worry about food."

---

The unnamed boy was busy chucking rubbish outside. The cold dark night air slowly passed across his skin. He was surprised at how time had managed to skip so quickly. He could have sworn one mere interlude ago it had been morning. He shrugged.

"Almost time to sign off and go home. Home…where my mum no longer is, my Dad can't be found and my dog is dead. Where I have to work in a dead end job to pay a rent so I can go to school during which I am bullied…who the hell am I talking to?"

"_Groan!"_

"Huh what?"

"_I said 'groan'" _replied a creature which slowly stumbled towards him.

"W-what's going on?" asked the boy. He quickly noticed the attention directed towards him and subtly pointed towards the nametag _'CJ'. _

"Stand back boy! This calls for some divine intervention!" called out a voice.

"Father McGruder?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Seven hours earlier…

Doctor Jorge A. Romero stood in front of a collection of electronic devices with numerous flashing lights. It was mainly there for show, his beaten laptop the main hub of information. He finished typing something and hit the enter button.

A faint beeping.

He stepped away, removing his glasses. He brushed his hands through his spiky dyed hair. He began to laugh manically.

"It's working! It's actually working!"

"Why are you doing this Jorge?"

"Nabeshin!" exclaimed the doctor, turning around.

"Why? What would want you make to do something this terrible?" he asked. "What happened to the potential Nobel peace prize winner I once knew?"

"He died. He died when you left him behind when the soldiers were swarming down on us. You could have risked yourself- but you left me."

"It was a video game!"

"Ten seconds from a perfect score Nabeshin. Ten seconds!"

"And that's why?"

"Well there is also a selection of social and psychological factors today, as well as modern society we live in. And also, imagine the irony of a person with my name doing this. It's destiny!"

The sound of smashing glass caught their attention. Slowly the living and smelly dead began to make their way towards the group.

"No! Oh who ever thought that resurrecting the dead could have any downsides?" asked the doctor as they lurched hungrily towards him. "And who ever thought it could happen with so little build up?"

"We have to go now!" said Nabeshin. "We can make it!"

"Go Nabeshin. No perfect score here."

"But…but it makes no sense! You can escape."

"No I can't" said the doctor, suddenly noticing the emergency exit right next to him. "Well, you can never escape from yourself, what you have become."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"If a tree falls and no one hears it, does it make a noise?"

"What?!"

"What is the secret in secret sauce?"

Romero stood asking these questions as the creatures gathered around him. Dignified, he only screamed like a girl for a matter of minutes as Nabeshin quickly escaped. Breathing heavily, he stopped resting against the wall of the building.

"I'll avenge you Romero. I'll stop them- you never wanted any of this."

A new super villain and zombies. What next?

-To Space!-

"Senior Excel?"

"Yes Ha-Chan?"

"I have a question. Where did Lord Il Palazzo tell us to meet this person? My hearing was temporarily out of order as I tried to live for another day."

"Excel wrote it down! Take Menchi for a minute" said Excel, handing the shivering dog to her partner. She searched, trying to find the piece of paper- in her scantily designed uniform there wasn't much to search through. She stopped, groaning.

"What is it Senior Excel?"

"The paper has disappeared! I'm certain I didn't lose it. It's all part of the conspiracy to stop ACROSS!"

Menchi looked across at her crazed owner. How much longer could Excel believe in this charade of conspiracy theories?

Meanwhile…

Several kilometers below the Earth's surface

The masked man wheezed as he stepped through the automatic doors. The lifts had all broken down on the same day. Behind him walked two bloodied men, all dressed in black. He walked towards a deeply tanned man, sitting on a throne.

He bowed down before the man, who rose a hand, as though ushering for silence. Despite the fact you could probably hear a pin drop. The lead man pulled down the fabric that covered his face. The man in the thrown looked down upon the men.

"Did you retrieve it?"

"Yes my master" said the man pulling out the piece of paper. He handed it to the man. "But you've really got to start paying us more sir, we lost three good men on this mission."

-!-

Several loud explosions and blood curdling screams filled the air. Holder sat up and groaned. The people across the street must be having another house party. But something was missing…the odd combination of glam rock and J-pop was not pounding out from across the street. Why had they chosen this as their secret base of operations?

He pulled open the pink curtains and glanced outside. Evidently a day had passed since the last chapter, as it was slowing getting dark as dusk began to fall upon the town. The screams were more frequent now. And a constant low groaning sound.

Holder shuddered.

Surely the OAPs weren't striking back?

No that wasn't the case. People, their skin a mottled grey color slowly approached other people. Dressed in torn clothes and judging by their reaction times, Holder wondered if Alice Cooper was playing a gig nearby. Soon they had pinned down healthy looking people and were slowing ripping out throats and chewing on fingers.

Maybe one of the more extreme modern rock bands? Anything for the attention.

He turned as the door behind him smashed open. Graham Smith looked at Holder in a panic, terror on his face.

"What is it? Thor's trying to bring out another record?"

"Worse! The living dead are walking the Earth. Well this town!"

"Living dead? That's a bit of an oxymoron."

"Well what do you suggest?"

"Evil dead?" asked Holder shrugging.

"But that throws issues of copyright into the mix!"

"Graham, we're just talking in a room. What does it matter?"

"Ah I see they have struck" boomed Thor, walking down the corridor. "I had a feeling this would happen. I had been informed of the scientist's plan, and I knew it was likely to fail!"

"How does having half the town dead help us?"

"It makes conquest that much more easier and hinders our enemies and the emergency services" stated Thor. "And it gives me a chance to try out my custom built chaingun."

---

"Senior Excel, do you hear that?" asked Hyatt as screams filled the air.

"Of course Ha-Chan" said Excel, who now appeared to be walking behind Hyatt. "W-who wouldn't?"

"Are you scared senior Excel?"

"Of course not Ha-Chan!"

"Then why do you seem to be using me as a human shield?"

"No reason." She looked down at Menchi, who was pitifully resting in her hands. The mutts eyes continued to dart around searching for something. Even more fearful then usual.

"Ms. Menchi appears to be scared" observed Hyatt.

"Good observation Ha-Chan!" said Excel, holding the dog who was practically frozen solid with fear.

"Hey ACROSS agents!" called out a voice.

Excel turned ready to fight. How could their secret get out...

…Again?

"Do your worst! We will never reveal the secrets of…"

"Senior Excel, that appears to be the man we are meant to be looking for."

"I see Ha-chan."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_Guest starring William Shatner as the bus driver_

The newly encountered man spoke with an accent that hinted at his British heritage. He was a relatively big man. A once proud mustache had expanded to a slight beard. He had deep blue eyes. He looked younger then he was (about fifty three). He had a rucksack on his back and in one hand he held a Franchi SPAS-12. He held out the other hand which Hyatt shook.

"You are Lord Il Palazzo's agents right?"

"That is correct sir" replied Hyatt softly.

"Good" replied the man, quickly taking a swig from a hipflask. "I'd assume you are Hyatt, and the person behind you hungrily eyeing that dog is Excel?"

"That is correct sir. And you are…?"

"Robert Muldoon at your service. I'm here to help you out. It seems something bad is happening. Trust me, I have experience with shit hitting the fan" he replied. He turned away, utilizing the thousand yard stare. "…But damn, what a blast it was."

He turned away suddenly mumbling. _"Unlike that bloody movie. Damn Spielberg screwed me over."_

"Pardon sir?"

"Oh it's nothing" said Muldoon smiling. The smile vanished as he turned away. _"Kill me off huh? Did I die in the book? Hell no, but that bastard still does it anyway. I was a goddamn hero, didn't even get to kill anything…" _he mumbled bitterly.

"Uh…sir?"

"Oh of course. We'd better get going. It's dangerous out here. We need to get to the mall quickly."

"Why the mall?" asked Excel who'd had little screen time this chapter.

"Well it's kind of iconic and offers a set piece…by that I mean it offers shelter and supplies." He stood up. "We'd better get going."

He led the way, Excel and Hyatt following close behind him. Excel looked up in surprise as the camera angle suddenly swung to an unusual high angle.

"Woah, Excel is feeling dizzy. What's going on?"

Muldoon began to speak, his voice now extremely hammy. "It appears as though we. Have. Entered the survival horror genre!?"

"What's wrong with your voice?" asked Excel.

Muldoon shook his head and spoke normally. "Sorry, just got a flashback to my Resi days."

"Where did you say we were?"

"A survival horror area."

"I thought it was strange that I found a box of sixty bullets on the floor" said Hyatt, holding up a small box. Scrawled across it in pen was written _Bullets! Very useful!_

"How many?" asked Muldoon.

"Sixty sir. Why?"

Muldoon grinned. "Excellent, we're in the easy setting."

"Excel found something too!" said the girl, holding up a blocky looking key. "It's a key! But I don't not what it's for. Do you want it?"

"I can't. My inventory…I mean pack is full. You take it- it could come in useful later."

"Stop right there!" yelled panicky civilian #32. "Give me your supplies" he continued, rising a ridiculously oversized gun.

"What should we do now Senior?" asked Hyatt.

"Activate escape plan number seventy two!" yelled Excel.

Muldoon turned to face her. "What's that?"

"Hey look over there random person!"

The man turned. "Hey, I can't see anything." He turned back to find the small group missing. "Ah sod it." He let out a Wilhelm scream as the smelly living dead began to rip his arms off.

"That's gonna leave a stain."

--

The bus sat, unmoving the dark wildness either side. Evil lurked outside, eyes focused on the food within. The bus driver sat shouting at the steering wheel. Moving back, Chiyo-chan, Rei Ayanami and a whole host of interesting characters sat, ready to be ignored. Right at the back stood CJ. He glanced around before walking down to the front of the bus.

"Excuse me sir, what's wrong? I don't think here is the best place to stop" said CJ, looking out of the window at the sign that read _Hell 1 ½ miles. _

"_My _God! I _cannot _**find **out what…is wrong. With this vehicle" said the driver.

"So we're stuck here?"

"Yes?!...?"

CJ let out a girlish scream while the toupee fell from the drivers head when someone knocked loudly on the window. He turned to find something truly worse then hell…the odd women who worked alongside him. She stood with the fainting women, and a man who appeared to be trying to hide a shotgun behind a hat. He groaned slightly. This was not going to be a good night. He still remembered the epic and well written battle that never made it into the story.

The door slid open. They stepped inside. Some rows back a tall black haired girl blushed as she noticed the small dog named Menchi who had just entered the bus. She turned away as the small Chiyo looked at her. Menchi, placed on the floor, rushed for the door, before slumping down on the floor defeated, when she realized the door had closed. And her doggie senses kicked in. For the first time ever, it was actually safer (with a lesser chance of being eaten) to stay with Excel and the others. Dooooommmm!

"Hiya! My name is I. Ron Butterfly and I wish to go to the mall" said Excel.

"**Heh**. Women. Always. Thinkingabout…shopping" said the driver. He would awake several hours later to find he had been flung through the bus window by a powerful punch.

Excel turned her attention to the bus, before noticing the boy standing behind her.

"You!" they said in unison.

"We don't have time for a reunion" said Muldoon, "Those things are coming."

"Oh, they're not too bad when you get to know them" replied CJ.

"Excel chop!" yelled Excel, smacking the bus dashboard. As she backed away, holding her hand, the bus suddenly spluttered into life.

"We're going to make it!" stated the token character at the back.

"I see" replied Rei, staring absent mindedly out of the window.

Standing close to the window, the token character screamed as he was pulled through the window.

"Quick gun it!" yelled Muldoon.

"Can do!" replied Excel.

"Can she drive a bus?" whispered CJ to Hyatt.

"If it weren't for my particular condition, I'd be fearing for my life" replied Hyatt softly. She turned to Excel. "Senior Excel, do you know where you are going?"

"Of course I do Ha-chan!"

"Look! Follow that road, it'll take us straight there!" yelled Muldoon.

"Can do!" replied Excel over-enthusiastically.

-/-

Il Palazzo sat in silence deep beneath the city. A gloved hand reached up, and he rested his head upon it, as he studied the cooking book intently. Above him the city appeared to be falling into chaos.

And yet he had had no input. All of his plans, and it appeared an invasion by those un-thoughtful zombies would throw a spanner into the works. Or possible a hand or decapitated body.

"This world is indeed corrupt! And this situation offers ACROSS the opportunity to cleanse this planet!"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The bus sat still, the back of the vehicle crumpled into the strong walls of the shopping mall. Muldoon stood looking at the vehicle, trying to figure out the pure physics at work to do such a thing, as CJ and Hyatt (supported literally by Excel) ushered everyone off of the bus.

"Into the building!" yelled Excel, "Follow me!" she shouted, before running into the glass door.

"It appears you need to pull this door" said Hyatt.

"I see that now" muttered Excel, as she slowly slid down the glass panel.

Hyatt pulled the door open (with help from Muldoon). Ignoring Excel, crumpled on the floor, CJ, Sakaki, Chiyo and Rei entered the large structure. Muldoon led Hyatt inside, as Excel slowly crawled across the floor before kicking the door shut. The darkness of the large building was suddenly vanquished as the lights turned on.

"What happened?" asked Hyatt.

"Found the power" replied Muldoon, staggering forwards, with hair sticking up from under his hat.

"Oh my God!" yelled CJ as the lights turned on.

"What is it?! What is it?!" asked Excel.

"Half price on all Elfen Lied DVDs!" exclaimed CJ, running towards the shop. He paused to pull out his wallet.

"Kid, use your head" stated Muldoon.

"Huh?"

"The people who own that shop are probably dead. You might be facing the end of the world as we know it."

"But I feel fine! Miss Butterfly, do you think it's right to steal?"

"Huh?" replied Excel, suddenly remembering her name. She finished tucking the diamond ring into her pocket. "You can do whatever you want to."

CJ walked away from the shop. Muldoon looked at the boy. _Obviously he must have morals._

"I'm just going to go get a bag to carry more stuff" said CJ.

"Hahahahaha!" laughed a disembodied voice.

Hyatt glanced around. "Who is making that noise Senior?"

"I don't know, but it's infectious" replied Excel grinning.

A thin man, hidden in the shadows leapt onto the stairs above them. They saw a hand, in a black glove reach out and point at them.

"Who are you?!" yelled Excel.

"Haha, I have no name. To tell you anyway. My commander has sent me here to end your attempts to stop him."

"That is correct" cried a voice over the intercom. Thor's voice rang out loudly. "I have plenty of associates here to stop you. So help you, even if you win now, there's still plenty more to come. I'm turning this into a Shonen-jump style story! See you again in a hundred chapters!"

"Son of a bitch" muttered Muldoon.

"Haha, you will never stop Domino man, with the expert use of Domino's as projectile weapons! Ha!" he said, flinging a small black domino that struck Excel in the forehead.

"Ow! Who throws things?"

"Ha! Watch as I end one of your groups life" said the man. "Form of Ess!" he yelled, pulling out a white coloured domino. His hand began to twist, and white flames surrounded the small piece of plastic.

"Noooo!" yelled CJ in slow motion as Domino man threw the projectile at Rei.

"Look out…what is her name?" asked Chiyo.

The blue haired girl looked up. Excel turned away. She didn't want to see the gory aftermath. With the domino mere meters away, Rei slowly rose a hand. It opened and she caught it, before placing it on the floor.

"I think you dropped this" she muttered, before turning to face the wall.

"What?! How can she avoid the power of the Ess?!" asked the man in astonishment. He stood up and began to make movements with his arms. "Tien Gow!" he yelled, as Domino's began to float around him. He pointed at Hyatt. "Pai Gow!"

Excel sprinted across and knocked Hyatt out of the way, the dominos hitting the window behind, which rattled slightly.

"Do not test the power of me!"

"Hey buddy!" yelled Muldoon.

"What?"

"Surprise noob" replied Muldoon before blowing the man away with the shotgun.

"Death…my one weakness…how did you know?" asked the man before dying.

-Eeep-

"My lord" said Holder. He shivered (he was being forced to say it). "It would appear as though the weirdo has been killed."

Thor leant forward. "Hmm, I thought it wouldn't be easy. Never mind. The man with the power of Dominos may be gone, but I predict the pervert and Sporkman will be able to take care of them."

"My God…not Sporkman!"

"Ah Mr. Thor?" said Kensuke.

"Yes?"

"Is there any actual need for me being here?"

"Of course there is! No more questions!"

Kensuke turned away in silence. The fool didn't know.

---

"It makes you think doesn't it" said Muldoon, as they stood by the top floor main window, overlooking the mass dead.

"Not really" muttered Excel.

"All of those people once had lives, families, loved one, jobs." He loaded shells into the shotgun. "Oh well, time to kill them all."

"Stop!" spoke Nabeshin from the shadows. "No one more has to die."

"Who said that?" asked Excel, glancing around.

"Over here." He stepped forward. "There is a man named Thor, he is the one that you seek. I do not know why, but the ancient scriptures state that with the end of his reign of terror, the dead will return to the living. Well apart from the dead who were dead before this happened."

"But how can we ever face him? We have to fight against his cronies" replied Excel.

"Fool! It was all a ruse. Do you really think Thor has enough brain power to keep a story going for a hundred chapters? Stay true to your cause, and you will win. ACROSS will emerge victorious."

"For Lord Il Palazzo I will continue to fight!" stated Excel. "To the bitter and possibly gory end I will continue to fight!"

"You have learnt well my protégé" said Nabeshin, "Now fight to the best of your abilities!"

"But you didn't teach me anything…again." She turned to find the afro-haired man missing. "He vanished!"

Nabeshin grunted and swore as he attempted to move through the thin ventilation system. With a loud clanging and the metal structure threatening to fall loose, he slowly made his way.

"Senior?"

"Yes Ha-chan?"

"Someone appears to be coming. They say they want blood."

"Heh" replied Excel unenthusiastically.


	7. Amazing build up for super pain!

Chapter 7

Amazing build up for super pain!

"I am The Pervert!" yelled a forty year old man dressed from head to toe in dark leather. The zip around his mouth was currently open. His tongue stuck out, pointing at Excel.

"An' I are Sporkman" added a seven foot tall man, dressed in a luminous green uniform. "I are utilizing the power of teh spork!"

"It's one of the most powerful weapons in existence" added The Pervert, grabbing his crotch.

Muldoon sighed and raised the gun. _Click. Click. _He turned to face Excel. He had a look of defeat and boredom.

"Well, I've done all I can do."

"You ready to fight Hyatt?" asked Excel.

"Not particularly" replied Hyatt, before fainting to the floor. CJ yelped loudly as blood poured from her mouth.

"Who will stand and help me?" asked Excel, turning to the others. No one replied. Chiyo prepared to stand up, but was forcefully pulled to the ground by Sakaki.

With a grandiose sweeping of his arms, Sporkman pointed at Excel. "I are killing you both!"

"That doesn't really mean much to Hyatt" muttered Excel.

"Enough talk!"

"Hehe, ooh I feel so naughty!" said The Pervert.

"Prepare for being in pain" said Sporkman.

In a bright flash of sickly green, plastic sporks were sent flying towards Excel, who leapt backwards, narrowly avoiding the plastic tools of death. Chiyo gasped as the sporks dug deeply into the concrete column. CJ fell backwards, knocking over a radio that began to play _Dragonforce _at an obnoxiously loud volume. Excel smiled.

"Prepare to fight Sporkman! And don't think I'll easy on one of the lesser villains."

"What?" asked Sporkman, looking hurt. "I are not lesser..."

"Senior Excel! You do not stand alone!" cried a voice from above. Excel looked up and groaned as Elgala jumped down to the floor.

"What are you doing here?"

"I've been sent to help. I guess Lord Il Palazzo didn't have enough trust in you."

Excel growled. "So you're here to help? You take on the leather man- I'll take care of the other goon." She grinned as Elgala charged. She'd get to deal with a middle aged pervert.

However Excel's thoughts were interrupted as she suddenly found herself flying across the room.

"Lesser? I are show you lesser!" yelled Sporkman.

"I think I'm the second one. Or possibly fourth, I lost track" said Rei, as the onlookers stood…onlooking.

"So then…how old are you huh?" asked Muldoon suggestively, smiling.

"I am fourteen."

"Oh wow is that the time, I'm just going to go stand over there and wash myself for the next few hours." He slowly trudged away. "Damn manga characters! Fourteen my ass!"

"Is Senior loosing?" asked Hyatt, tugging at CJ's trousers.

"No, of course not" lied the boy as Excel smacked into a wall.

"Hyatt remembers seeing this person online before" said Hyatt, pointing to Sporkman. "He was on youtube, showing off his combat skills."

"Don't worry! I have a laptop" said Chiyo-chan, happy to help. She quickly turned on the expensive piece of equipment, and watched a video of Sporkman practicing to an out of sync _eye of the tiger_. "Oh my God!" gasped Chiyo suddenly.

"What is it?"

"According to this message, if I don't repost it on seventeen other videos, in five years time the depths of hell will open. From there banshees and Wesley Snipes will hunt me down, while someone I love will die! I'll loose all my fortune and die!"

"Don't worry, I have the cure for that" said Sakaki, hitting the cross button.

"B-but the message!"

"Senior Excel! When using the Sporks, he always throws to the left- keep moving right and you'll avoid the weapons."

"Right Ha-chan" replied Excel, wiping away blood from her mouth. She leant down and pulled plastic utensils out of her arms. She then pointed at the man. "For Lord Il Palazzo I will defeat you! I know your weakness!"

"Foolish fool! Do you really believe I only have one method of attack? Prepare…**for real time weapons change!**"

With a maniacal laugh he threw the pieces of plastic to the ground an pulled out sharp metal knifes. He pointed at Excel. Excel brushed her hair out of her face.

"Prepare to die ACROSS scum!"

_Super theme time!_

あなた専有物に今立つ

_In your monopolized ones Imadate_

暗闇はあなたのどちらかの側面を休ませる

_As for the darkness you make your either side go to bed_

すべてのあなたの力の戦い

_Fight of all your powers_

知っているものをのために右である

_It is the right because of those which you have known_

Excel! Excel!

しかし恐れてはいけない

_But you do not have to fear,_

愛のためにあなたの中心にある

_For loving there is on your center_

真実および栄光のための戦い

_Fight for truth and glory_

愛のための戦い

_Fight for loving_

Excel!

敵を恐れてはいけない

_The enemy does not have to be feared,_

あなたの中心にあてはまるがある

_It is applicable on your center, but it is_ (your heart is true)

**Go super love!**

"Try and hit me!" stated Excel. "Ow!" she yelled as the knife dug into her arm. Sporkman laughed again.

"You are really pissing me off!"

"_Remember…remember…" _said Nabeshin's voice, echoing across the hall. Far away, he sat in the ventilation shaft, speaking through a didgeridoo. "You can do it Excel! Have faith in yourself and no man can stop you!"

"Elgala! Are you ready?!" asked Excel loudly.

"Not particularly" she replied, as The Pervert flicked his tongue at her. He promptly rubbed his nipples before prancing around Elgala crazily.

"Ha hehe ha ha Miss Elgala, no mere girl can stop The Pervert!"

"I am no mere girl. I am Elgala, top agent of ACROSS!"

"I'd like to dispute that!" yelled Excel, ignoring the knife that almost caught her cheek.

"Senior Excel, would it not be better to defeat the others being attacking one another?" suggested Hyatt.

"Good suggestion Ha-chan!" Excel turned back to face Sporkman. She pointed at him. "For Lord Il Palazzo I will end you!"

"You talk much too big"

"Is anybody else horny?" asked The Pervert.

_Coming in chapter 8!_

_Across vs. Thor's agents!_

_Epic fight of large proportions!_

Who will win? Will chapter 8 ever be written?

Find out soon!


	8. Epic fight of large proportions!

Chapter 8

_ACROSS vs. Thor's agents_

_Epic fight of large proportions!_

"Come on bitch! Hit me! Hit me hard and true!" yelled The Pervert. "Hit me right here."

"Er…ok" replied Elgala, put off slightly.

"And try and touch me" replied Sporkman, "but your Machiavellian intentions belong elsewhere." Excel cocked her head confused. When did he start using proper English?

"For you Lord Il Palazzo, I will try" said Excel, thrusting her fist up towards the decorated mall ceiling. Nabeshin, hanging onto a lighting fixture for dear life waved back down at her.

"You can do it Excel! Kick his bloody head off!" yelled Rob Schneider.

"I say, doesn't one think that is a bit much?" asked Sporkman. "However it does appear as though we will not be able to settle our differences civilly."

"You're damn straight there!" replied Excel.

"Go Senior!" said Hyatt, waving a flag with a chibi picture of Excel upon it.

"Start the battle."

Excel slowly stepped forward, her and Sporkman slowly moving clockwise, waiting to make the first move. Sporkman twiddled his hands and suddenly metal sporks with razor sharp edges appeared in his mouth. Elgala remained rooted to the spot while Mr. T Pervert made obscene gestures with his tongue.

"Go eighties montage music!" yelled Nabeshin. "Shit" he added as the large light swung through the air.

_Push it to the limit  
Walk along the razor's edge  
but don't look down, just keep your head  
and you'll be finished_

Excel charged Sporkman, ducking down to avoid the barrage of metal death. The Pervert shrieked and charged towards Elgala who caught him square in the face with a well directed punch. She backed away repulsed as he licked the blood eagerly. He then started skipping around the ACROSS agent, leathered hands clenched in fists.

_Open up the limit  
past the point of no return  
You've reached the top but still you gotta learn  
how to keep it _

Hit the wheel and double the stakes  
throttle wide open like a bat out of hell  
and you crash the gates  
(crash the gates)

Excel looked across at Sporkman, who pointed at her.

"Today I end you."

"Weapons! I need weapons!" yelled Excel, realizing as well as not being a trained fighter, she was also completely unarmed.

"Here!" yelled CJ, throwing the bowling ball of justice, which cracked open the floor. "Whoops, my bad."

Excel picked up the bowling ball and turned to face Sporkman. The uniformed man merely laughed. He stood tall and pointed towards the agent.

"You think you can defeat me with such a cumbersome weapon?"

Excel yelled and charged, before pulling the ball back and suddenly thrusting it forward. The grin disappeared from Sporkman's face, realizing he had let his guard down.

_Going for the back of beyond  
Nothing gonna stop you  
there's nothing that strong  
So close now you're nearly at the brink  
so, push it…_

Sporkman let out a faint yelp as he was thrust a few feet off the ground by the force of the impact on his testicles. The impact was so great even Nabeshin yelped. Muldoon grimaced and turned away, while CJ was busy wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. After hanging in the air for a matter of seconds the Sporkman fell down to the floor. And stayed there.

"Oh shit" muttered Nabeshin.

"Father, forgive me" said Sporkman, before passing out from the pain.

"You want some of this huh?" asked Excel, pointing the bowling ball at Elgala's quarry.

"Oh yes, I'd love that. Hit me hard!"

"Stay out of this Excel! He is mine!" stated Elgala.

"Fine then" replied Excel turning away.

INSPIRATIONAL GUITAR SOLO

Elgala smacked her fist into the mans masked head, before crunching down on his feet.

"You little bitch!"

"I have had enough of you!" yelled Elgala, catching the man with a perfectly executed roundhouse kick, that sent the man flying backwards. With a yell and crash of glass he was sent flying outside.

"Whoops."

"Gah! Gah! Bite me harder bitches!" they could hear The Pervert yell as he was ripped apart.

"Well that was unexpected" stated Muldoon.

"Senior Excel, I would recommend we all run in terror."

"Huh?" Excel looked across at the entrance of the mall. Smashed glass. Numerous dead things wanting to eat you. Glass only barrier. Barrier smashed. Things eat you. No barrier.

"Oh crap, they're free to get in!" yelled CJ.

"Hey, I was getting there!" yelled Excel.

"Miss Excel" shouted Muldoon, "The man you seek is looking for you. He is coming here to find you. I led you here to give you cover and resources!"

"Takes the others and leave!" replied Excel, "Get them to safety. Not you Elgala" continued Excel, grabbing the woman as she tried to sneak away.

Muldoon nodded and led the others away as the zombies charged at a snails pace. Elgala and Excel picked up Hyatt, who had insisted on staying, to find CJ standing in front of them.

"Get out of here!" said Elgala, "This is ACR-not your fight!"

"I can help!" replied CJ.

"How do you know? And stop using exclamation marks" replied Excel.

"I looked ahead at the story and saw I might help."

"Fine then, come on lets get going" said Excel.

"Run, head for the upper levels, we can barricade the stairways, and have some protection. And the better stores are up there" said Elgala.

"Don't forget who is in charge here" growled Excel.

"Here they come" noted CJ, "Running would probably be a good idea."

And so the trio ran, sprinting for the stairs.

"Ah Senior Excel? I hate to be a bother but you appear to have left me behind" said Hyatt, resting on the floor.

"Ha-Chan" said Excel, running towards the stricken (as usual) girl as the un-dead hoards reached her.

Hyatt groaned slightly as they began chewing on her hand. Excel reached her and kicked the zombies away. She took great satisfaction from the fact she was able to kick the head off one, which knocked another off it's feet.

"Senior, I am bleeding" said Hyatt, as Excel dragged her away.

CJ jumped in front of the agents, waving around a metal pole. The lead zombie looked at him with its rotting face, and opened its mouth, revealing a maw of jagged teeth, human remains, and breath in need of strong mints.

"Screw this" said CJ, dropping the pole and grabbing Hyatt's legs as Excel began to climb the stairs.

Reaching the top, they placed her on the floor. CJ crouched down beside her, and was silent for a few moments. He then turned to face Excel and Elgala. He looked up at them tearfully.

"S-she's dead."

_**Omake **_

_From the pen of an otaku. _

_Hello super readers…reader. I'd like to thank any of you kind enough to read my story. I know at least one person is because I religiously check my story stats to see if I've possible received a review. I like pointless dreams like that. I really don't know why I am writing this, as there is little extras I can provide. All I can promise you, is that unlike other fanfiction authors, I will not spam this area with numerous sequels to the story. Heck, I probably ran out of ideas three chapters ago. _

_As I write this my ankle pains me where it has swollen to twice its normal size. This is why I rarely attempt to dance. I actually heard it crack. I did try to think of an anecdote to go with this tale, but I couldn't think of one. Thank you again, and if you feel like leaving a review feel free…_

…_please?_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"I said she is dead" stated CJ again, watching as Elgala studied her nails, and Excel attempted to wipe gore from the soles of her shoes. "Can you hear me? You're friend is dead."

"Come on Ha-Chan, we can't have you lying around all day" said Excel, looking over the pale Hyatt. She had a look of frustrated boredom upon here face.

"I don't think that'll help" said CJ. _What were these people doing? Did they even know what the word dead meant did they fools…_

"I'm sorry Senior, did I die again?"

"Garggh!"

"Aren't we dealing with zombies?" asked Elgala, "Shouldn't you be a mindless zombie?"

"It would appear as though whatever I suffer from destroyed the virus within my body" replied Hyatt.

"Well I guess that's lucky" stated Excel. "We'd better get going before they break our barricade" she said, pointing toward the cardboard box that blocked the stairway. The dead were lined up behind it, looking at it with a look of confusion.

"This way" said Excel, pointing to a route that led to a dead end.

"How about this way Senior?" suggested Hyatt.

"Good plan Ha-Chan" said Excel. "Lets go, the defences are failing!"

Behind them the box was slowly disintegrating, as drool from the zombies fell upon it. It slowly began to fold, as they all pressed forwards. Excel picked up Hyatt, who could now stand and walk by herself.

"Let's get going!" said Excel.

The group ran, failing to notice they seemed to be running downhill, nor the fact thick steel blast doors were opened above their heads. They stepped into a dark organic looking room, which seemed to be pulsing, when the doors slammed shut behind them.

"What's going on?" asked Elgala.

"I'm glad that you asked" said a loud voice over an unseen intercom, causing CJ to jump in the air. "Welcome to my domain! My name is Thor! You are currently in the entrance to my newly created and recently opened base. We have used the virus that created zombies to create a biological, living room. Good luck getting through and finding me. I await to see whether I have to defeat you in person."

"Up yours!" said Excel yelling and shaking her fist at the ceiling. "We'll stop you!"

"Who are you talking to Senior?" asked Elgala.

"Oh and I forgot to mention. At the end of this transmission the creature will begin to grow. If you fail to escape you will be crushed. Good bye."

"Hey Elgala, you'll finally be able to look thin!" said Excel, narrowly avoiding a powerful slap from her fellow agent.

With a faint squelching noise, the organic walls rumbled slightly, and oozed forward a short distance. Excel glanced around. There didn't seem to be a place to use for an escape…they seemed to be trapped. She groaned. She hadn't been expecting this when she had been sent…

…By Il Palazzo! She could not let him down, not after coming all this distance. And if they were to fail- every single agent of ACROSS would be killed. And where would Il Palazzo go from there?

-

"Yes I see. Yes Miss Maya I do agree you have suitable credentials to work for ACROSS."

"Thank you Mr. Palazzo" said the women, making a nervous movement with one foot.

"And you say you like to wear catgirl uniforms?" asked Il Palazzo, in deep interest.

"Yes Mr…."

The girl ducked down as one of the steel doors exploded, flying across the room. Maya ran for cover as Palazzo climbed to his feet.

"Who enters this base" he demanded.

"My name is Graham Smith. You may call me Graham Smith. I have been sent here by the true master of this region. You may attempt to fight- but the men are more then enough for you. And do not believe my powers are as dull as my name."

Il Palazzo stood and waited as they approached him. This goon could only be related to one villain. And he knew, despite their limitations, Excel and the others would be close by. The four of them together would lead to a better chance of success. And he had been waiting for a chance to get out in the field.

He sat patiently as his hands were handcuffed. Smith walked across and smacked him across the head.

"I say, don't you that is a bit much old chap?" asked Ethan, the second in command and English stereotype.

"Don't question me."

"Let's just get back to the base, so one can enjoy a good cup of best English tea."

--I'm sorry--

"There is no form of escape from this place" said Elgala, pacing around the rapidly closing in room.

"Ah crap" muttered CJ.

"Master Nabeshin, if you wish to help us, now is the time" said Excel.

_Meanwhile_ outside…Nabeshin tapped the steel door, which didn't budge at all.

"Well, I've done all I can do" he mused to himself.

**Scene jump**!

CJ glanced up as he heard a metallic grinding sound. He looked across at the others. Hyatt too looked worried, but Elgala and Excel seemed completely unaware.

"It would appear as the very structure of the room is collapsing" stated Hyatt.

"Oh goodie" said Elgala.

The weird organic creature squealed in distress, as part of it began to bulge outwards. With a loud splatter of green blood, it suddenly…splattered. A metal grate swung down, and Jack Holder (probably forgotten at this point) jumped down to the floor. Excel looked across in confusion having been busy in a daydream involving Il Palazzo and a scene likely to be found in an M-rated fanfiction.

"Who are you? What's going on?"

"Well the year is rapidly approaching May, and we've been experiencing good weather. A menace has raised from the depths and zombies have arisen, decimating the town…"

"She meant what is going on now? Why are you here?" said Elgala.

"Oh I see…" said Holder. "My name isn't important. I've come here to rescue you. Only you now have the possible power to defeat him" stated Holder. "_As well as being the only people stupid enough to try_" he added quietly.

"But how can we trust you?"

"It's up to you. I used to work for him…in a way. I have probably shortened my own life by doing this. But due to the heroic urge inside me, as well as aiding the author with a deus ex machina I feel compelled to help."

"I see."

"Now hurry up. We don't have long to escape. It would appear as though a fiendish plan has been put into action, and the last email I received from my former employer regarded the capture of your commander."

"Lord Il Palazzo?!" said Elgala and Excel in union.

"…alazzo?" said Hyatt weakly.

"I think leaving now would be the best idea" said CJ climbing into the ventilation shaft. He reached down, grabbing hold of Hyatt's hand. Holder, ever the bashful man allowed Excel to help push Hyatt up, rather then risk accidents related to the skimpy uniforms the agents wore.

Finally with Elgala disappearing, Holder too climbed up into the shaft, and pulled the grille up. He waddled along after the others, as the room below him groaned.

"_All I wanted was some friends." _


	10. Amazing training for ultimate doom

Chapter 10

Amazing training for ultimate doom

CJ kicked the grille which fell to the floor, before he fell after it, swearing before he landed on the floor in a large heap. Hyatt landed gracefully, before Excel and Elgala joined the boy on the floor. He blushed in delight. Two beautiful women were _on top of him_.

"Come on, we'd better get going, we need to give you all more training."

"More training? But Master Nabeshin has already aided me."

"You need more! All of you foolish fools! Nabeshin would help, but in this poorly created world his powers, and himself, are growing weak."

"True, that is" said Nabeshin shuffling forwards, gripping a cane. His afro hung loosely, while stubble covered his face.

"Oh crap its Dr. House!" exclaimed Elgala, having never had the chance to meet Nabeshin.

"Wrong again. Let me explain something to you" said Excel. The two turned away, deep in discussion. Elgala suddenly turned back, her face a deep red colour.

"Wait! So there was an anime series, and I was never informed?!" yelled Elgala.

"Jesus Christ you're on your own for now" said Holder, backing away as Nabeshin cowered.

"Important not that is now. All you must do is Au Thor defeat. With his demise only can order be returned."

"We'll try our hardest" said Excel.

Nabeshin smacked Excel over the head with his cane. "Foolish child! Do, or do not! There is no try. Mr. Holder, are you prepared for training?"

"Yes Mr. Nabeshin. I have reserved a room and training equipment. I also have a mix tape with _eye of the tiger, gonna fly now, The final countdown, The glory of love _and _You've got the touch _on it"

Nabeshin nodded. "May you all have luck. I must go now, for I need to appear in another anime series. God's speed to you all."

Throwing a ball to the floor which exploded in a cloud of flour, Nabeshin sprint-limped to the elevator. Holder turned away from the departing man, having pulled on a cloak. He looked at the others.

"Let us enter the montage room."

---

"Yes, you have learnt well in the past few hours" said Holder, sitting behind a table, with his hands crossed in front of him. "Your skills have increased exponentially" he added, to make sure no-one missed what he was saying.

"Excel is ready to face anyone! For ACROSS I will bring the foul villain to the ground!"

"Me too!" yelled Elgala, not wishing to be outdone.

"Yes, talented you are. In more ways then you might think" said Holder, blushing. "However the enemy you face is in fact potentially unstoppable."

"Eh…" said Excel dejectedly.

"There is only one person here whom can stop him- you" said the man, pointing at CJ who spluttered upon the muffin he was eating. Mmm muffins.

"What?" he asked in a panic.

"What?" asked Excel.

"What!" said Elgala.

"He is currently the only person in this universe who can possibly face up to the power of Au Thor."

"No…that can't be true! That's impossible!"

"Look into your heart. Do you not find the circumstances strange? How you just happened to end up alongside the agents in many important scenes. How you find yourself here now? How you have survived without training, and how despite having little personality we are still treated to your thoughts?"

"Hey I have a personality."

"I do not doubt it. Outside of this world- for you are an author surrogate."

"What?"

"Within the universe it was once said for every reaction, there is an opposite and equal reaction."

"Don't you mean equal reaction for every action?"

"Shut up. Au Thor is a villain-sue. I knew once I discovered his poorly written biography, as well as the fact that his life has been filled with angsty moments. Both his parents died- twice, and every pet he has ever owned have died terrible deaths- in front of him. You are the real life views of the author- the nerdy being he truly is."

"No I can't be! I'm just here…"

"Why? To seek some possible element of excitement? Look into your heart again. Remember! Remember damn you- without your aid we may all be doomed to live the rest of our lives in this terrible and underdeveloped world."

"Dear god no" muttered Elgala.

"Remember! Remember" said Holder gripping CJ and shaking him. With a sudden flash deep within the boy's eyes, he looked up at Holder.

"It has returned to me. Au Thor means…Author (DUN DUN DUN!). He is part of me…I feel a deep part of me has left. I feel empty. I feel a strange connection to him…a form of power."

"Yes! Yes! Utilize your power. Go into battle with Excel and the others! Battle them all. Win for glory."

"And Lord Il Palazzo!"

"Yes, that too" replied Holder unenthusiastically. "Come on, let us go. They have yet to become aware of my turning against them. My security card ought to still give us easy access."

"Come on, lets go" said Excel enthusiastically.

"I am glad to be fighting by your side Senior Excel" replied Hyatt.

"I cannot promise you much. I cannot guarantee that we will all make it back alive. You are all about to enter the most serious fight of your lives. A fight which will determine your very existence" said Holder.

"Lord Il Palazzo sent us on a mission, and we _will _succeed for him" said Elgala.

_Fools _thought Holder turning away. This could very possibly be the last time they would all be together.

"Are you all ready?" asked Excel.

"Yes senior" replied the two agents in unison.

Excel helped the dejected looking CJ to his feet.

"It's time to go."

"This is all my fault isn't it?"

"It's hard to tell" said Excel, trying to reassure the boy. "Probably."

"We don't have much time to spare now" said Holder. He slid three briefcases across to the agents. "I managed to secure some weapons. I don't know what your opinion is towards weapons, but they could help. I just hope I haven't offended your beliefs."

"Cool, weapons" said Excel.

"Now follow me" said Holder, "We are very close to the endgame."

With a faint hiss the main door opened, and the small group walked away in silence. A short distance away, the vast base stood waiting. Villains stood preparing for conquest, while Palazzo was imprisoned within a concrete cell.

He glanced through the tiny hole that acted as a window, up towards the stars. It was up to Excel and the others. Though he would never admit his feelings to them, he did have a feeling towards what his agents may face and do. A feeling about _his _agents.

_Belief._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Au sat by the computer screen with his lips pursed, resting his head upon his hands. He barely turned, or acknowledged the presence of the person, as the door slowly hissed open. Smith stepped inside, and stood looking across at Au, waiting for the man to speak.

"It is strange."

"Pardon?"

"Strange the recent goings on. We seemed to have picked up a new prisoner." He turned, facing Smith. "Yet I have no knowledge of ordering anyone to do that."

"I see."

Au stood up. "So that leads me to wonder. Just who in fact decided to attempt to capture him?"

"That would be me" said Kensuke, stepping into the room.

"You? You think you can double cross me?"

"What you fail to realize is that I am no mere stooge. I have long been aware of the power you possess. I have been waiting, observing. Now I have decided to strike."

Au rushed towards Kensuke, who raised a black gloved hand. Au was sent flying backwards. Ethan and a security guard entered the room, handcuffing Au.

"Imprison him."

"Do not think that this is the end of this!" growled Au. "Your insolence is noted."

He grunted as he was shoved forwards by Ethan and the guard. He stuck up his middle finger, before disappearing into the corridor. Smith approached Kensuke, and stood waiting.

"This town will finally get to experience a true villain. Their new master. I will personally rein destruction upon this pitiful place."

"I see master. Anything you wish?"

"Find me a throne. I feel like stroking my ego."

-667-

Holder pulled out a small card with a short number of details written upon it. Entering the card into the small slot three times, it finally recognized the card, and the thick door opened, much to the relief of Holder. He turned around to face the agents (and CJ) who obviously knew how to subtly infiltrate a base- armed to the teeth with machine guns and handguns. Excel had joked about giving Hyatt a shotgun, just to see how far she might fly back. When Hyatt had asked about the possibility of having a shotgun, Holder lied and informed her there wasn't one. Excel herself still believed this, despite the fact Holder himself had been walking around with a shotgun.

"Come on, lets get going" he said to the others. "However, we'll have to be careful. This place could very easily be full of people who wouldn't give a second thought about killing you all."

"I see" mused Elgala.

"Excuse me?" said CJ raising his hand, "I don't suppose it's possible to go back to _let me get the hell out of here _option is it?"

"You are here now. You cannot escape from your fate now."

"Neither can any of you" boomed Kensuke's voice, the steel door closing. "It would appear as though Au unsurprisingly failed. I however will not."

He stepped down, appearing on a platform high above the small group.

"Run" muttered Holder, "Run!"

Excel grabbed Hyatt's hand and the two ran, CJ desperately trying to catch up with them, while Elgala defended the group from any possible rear based attack. Holder stood, looking up at Kensuke.

"So, you have taken command now?" he asked.

"Yes. I bet you never thought that I would have the chutzpah to grasp control, and grind this sorry town into the ground, a mere show of my power before enslaving the planet!"

"You still aren't insisting on ruling the universe are you?"

"Oh heck no, I was just reading a poorly written script for that."

"Well Kensuke…time to die" yelled Holder, lifting up the shotgun.

Kensuke narrowly avoided the gunshot, before pulling out his own handgun. He pulled down on the trigger, a loud **bang **ringing out. Holder dropped the gun, and looked down in shock at the jagged hole in his chest. He looked up towards Kensuke, and just about managed to stick up his middle finger before slumping to the floor.

---

Au sat in the small cell, resting his head in his hands. He groaned, and looked up towards the dank, chewing gum covered ceiling.

"What have I become?" he asked to himself.

"Your tale is coming to an end."

Au shrieked and turned to face Nabeshin, standing in the cell before him.

"Nab-Nabeshin? What are you doing here?"

"I offer you knowledge. You are approaching the end of the villain-sue life. Deep within you is the possibility of redemption- for that is what it truly is to be a villain-sue. You may go down as an evil man- or face destiny and end all of this. Face your tragic past and end this horror!"

"But what can I do? I'm stuck here" groaned Au.

"Just be prepared. Be prepared to do what is necessary."

"I will. Thank you Nabeshin. I am truly sorry about the whole beating and imprisoning thing."

"Never mind. Good luck to you too. Good luck to everyone."

"Hey Nabeshin."

"Yes?"

"Did I ever tell you that you look hot in that suit?"

"I think I better get going now."

---

"Senior, I think we could have had better luck with this mission" said Hyatt.

"I agree Ha-Chan" said Excel, gripping her rifle and ducking behind a thick concrete column. Bullets from the henchmen above ripped into the support. "However, we never seem to get any luck" she added.

"These bastards are stubborn!" yelled Elgala, before unleashing a round of bullets back up towards the henchmen, many of whom fell to the floor.

"We can't stay here much longer Senior Excel" noted Hyatt.

"Yer think?" asked Elgala.

Kensuke punched a code into the small panel, a steel door smoothly gliding open. He brushed his gloved hand through his black hair, before stepping inside. Smith followed closely behind him, not touching his well gelled hair.

"So, this is the centre of your plans?" asked Smith, intrigued.

"Indeed" replied Kensuke, pulling out a chair for himself. Smith decided to remain standing.

A bespectacled muscular man, in a dark grey uniform turned to face them. He nodded at Kensuke, who nodded in reply.

"Meet Dr. Stamper, head scientist of the numerous weapons systems we are developing."

"I see" replied Smith.

"I find, when attempting to control the world, having a large number of potential weapons is a useful contingency. Dr. Stamper, would you care to explain the weapon we will be testing today?"

"Well certainly. It is a sound-wave based weapon, creating a vast shockwave that causes physical damage. To most people, it would cause great discomfort and injury. With the frailty of the living dead, the bodies will be ripped apart."

"A suitable form of message to the world don't you think?" asked Kensuke.

"Yes it does sound very interesting" replied Smith, overjoyed by the violent event he was about to witness.

"Dr. Stamper, begin the preparation please" said Kensuke.

"Yes sir! The weapon will be ready for firing in approximately twenty eight minutes."

"Very good."

Smith's walkie-talkie crackled into life. Apologizing, he picked it up. "What is it?"

"It's Ethan. The base has been invaded! We might have them pinned down, but they are returning heavy fire."

"Inform Ethan that we will soon be there" stated Kensuke.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Il Palazzo placed the small piece of metal down on the floor, after the door clicked. He gently pressed against it, and the door swung open. He stepped out into the open, and promptly knocked out a guard. He had heard the muffled sounds of gunfire. He was certain Excel and the others had arrived. No time to hang around down here. Even though he did have plans for curtains- and had decided when the others were defeated, it would make a useful secondary base.

He glanced around, making sure that there were no more cronies to take care of. Satisfied he left the small cell. As he marched down the corridor, he stepped past a door, and paused. He looked inside, where he saw Au sitting.

"Do you wish for me to break you out of your cell?" he asked.

"No, no I want to stay here for a while and contemplate."

Palazzo nodded and slowly walked away. Au looked up, and realization suddenly dawned on him. That was his opponent, Il Palazzo. He groaned. Battling against the man was now the least important thing. At least Palazzo was honourable.

-)-

The boy ducked down his head, doing his best not to yell out as bullets passed close by, and ripped into the surrounding area. Excel leant down and grabbed CJ's arm. The boy, defeated, looked up at her. She looked down, a rare stern look upon her face.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm getting you out of here" she stated, "You heard them- you're needed to sort all of this out."

"B-but I don't know how…"

"You'll come up with a way. Ha-Chan, Elgala, can you provide us with some cover. I'm taking the boy to end all of this."

"Yes Senior" they replied, opening fire. The guards temporarily took cover, being much more out in the open then the ACROSS girls.

Excel, gripping the boys arm tightly sprinted, CJ running behind her. Excel saw the door ahead, and just prayed for a few more seconds, so that they could reach it. Not shot in the back. That wasn't how she wanted to go.

Slowly the door began to lower, and she leapt across, the two just about making it inside, before the heavy door slammed down. Excel looked at it, relieved not to have been crushed. But Hyatt and Elgala were still out there. How would Hyatt react to being riddled by a large quantity of bullets?

Now wasn't the time to think about such things.

"Gah, I think I twisted my ankle" said CJ.

"Shut up. We have to get going" said Excel. "We have to find this Au person. You still have your connection to him right?"

He nodded.

"Then you lead the way. And we have to be careful."

"You don't have to tell me that."

-

"Senior Hyatt, we can't stay here much longer" said Elgala.

"I agree. We are being flanked as we speak."

"Eeep" replied Elgala, looking up as the massed groups of uniformed men began to take aim. "Lets get out of here." Deciding not to risk it, she picked up Hyatt, and sprinted away before a crescendo of bullets ripped into the ground.

Elgala kicked out at a panel, which slammed a door down.

"Ah, miss Elgala…"

"Well, look what one has found" said Ethan.

Elgala lifted up her weapon which jammed. Ethan grinned, rubbing his thick moustache. He lifted his own weapon, a cruel looking handgun. He pointed it towards Elgala.

"No hard feelings old bean."

As he pulled down on the trigger Hyatt, with blood pouring from her mouth, leapt across knocking Elgala out of the way. She jerked back as the bullet ripped into her shoulder.

"I've been shot" she observed.

"I see Senior." Elgala looked up at Ethan furiously.

"Ha! Stupid bitch. I was going to kill both of you anyway."

He aimed again, but Elgala, deep in fury charged him, knocking him to the floor. She gripped the gun, and trod down on his testicles. He exclaimed "I say!" before letting go of the weapon. Elgala took hold of it, and pointed it at the shocked mans face.

"No hard feelings old bean" she spat, before pulling the trigger.

She dropped the bloody gun to the floor, and rushed across to Hyatt.

"Senior! Are you ok?"

"I've had much worse" said Hyatt, poking the wound. "I do not even feel a faint urge to go to the great beyond."

"That's good" said Elgala tearfully, lifting up Hyatt. "Lets try and find Senior Excel."

"That is a good idea Miss Elgala."

-

"Mr Kensuke, just what is going on?" asked Dr. Stamper. "I keep on hearing gunfire."

"You do not need to worry yourself doctor. We have a pest problem. And I have personally come down to sort it out" said Kensuke over the walkie-talkie. "Just keep a watch over the control panel."

"I will Mr Kensuke. You have roughly sixteen minutes until we can fire. Your orders?"

"Fire at the first opportunity you get. Level the town, kill the civilians for good."

"I understand Mr Kensuke."

He placed the walkie-talkie back on the small desk and turned back to face the computer. Surely no-one could stop them now. The virus infecting the townspeople was supposedly reversible- he'd heard a rumour. But it was too late for them now. He gripped his hands in glee. Several thousand lives were about to be extinguished. At the will of his master, and by his own hand.

No one could stop them now. The intruders were about to be neutralised.

Exterminated.

-/-

Excel shuddered slightly as the bullet ripped into her back. She gasped, and came to a sudden stop. CJ, in a state of shock at the whole event unfolding before him, turned around, unsure of why she had stopped.

"What's going on? Why are you standing there?"

"No reason" she lied, standing up tall with a faint groan. She slowly reached down for her weapon.

"I wouldn't recommend doing that if I were you" said Smith, walking towards the pair, with his gun held high, recently used. "Now turn around Miss Excel, you both have someone to meet."

Excel let go of the weapon and slowly turned to face Smith. CJ gasped as he saw the dark blood that was slowly covering the uniform. Smith gestured with his weapon.

"Follow me, both of you" he ordered. "Try and enjoy the sights. You don't have much longer to use your eyes" he joked.

Excel wobbled forwards, almost falling to the ground. Smith stood watching, with a cruel smile upon his face. CJ rushed forwards and grabbed the girl before she fell. She smiled weakly, as he worriedly looked up at her.

"You still know where to find the man?" she whispered.

"Yes."

"When the time comes, run. Find him and end all of this."

"I'll allow the two of you the privilege to speak as long as you follow me" stated Smith, leading the group along a cramped steel corridor.

"I-I can't do it."

"You can. You are the only one who can now. Heck, I know I'm not exactly the voice of reason- but you have a mission that only you can complete. We are all scared at some points in our life. It's natural. It's how you respond to the fear that truly shows what type of person you are."

"I-I'll try."

Excel grinned weakly. "Don't wait around for me…but don't forget to come back for me either."

CJ nodded tearfully.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

As the sound of gunfire slowly died down, the group of ACROSS found themselves isolated from one another. Elgala found herself marching towards an unknown fate, holding the frail Hyatt. Il Palazzo, unaware of what condition his agents could be in, was attempting to find a way out of the seemingly dungeon like prison complex. Excel slowly hobbled along behind Smith, blood trickling down her back as CJ looked on worriedly.

Nabeshin, weakened could do little but watch from above. In this world his power was slowly draining. He knew he had been a fool to return so soon, but he knew that he might be needed to help in some way. And he was not a man afraid of death. So many he had loved and called friends had given their lives for him. So many sacrificed or killed.

Just one more man to defeat. Then he could leave, satisfied.

"Good luck to you Excel" he spoke softly.

-!-

Smith cackled, unaware of the group plotting behind him. He had their gun, so as far as he was concerned, they were now harmless. Excel nudged CJ gently. He didn't respond at first, looking at the darkness below as the passed over the deep hole, where a new weapon was in the process of being built. He gulped as he looked at the fall beneath him, through the gaps in the lightweight metal floor. She nudged him again, the boy turning away.

"You have a lighter?"

He nodded, pulling out a small lighter along with a box of pens. "I…borrowed them from work."

He handed it to Excel. She gripped it tightly. She only had a small time to strike, before Smith reached wherever he was heading for. She coughed and called out.

"Hey!"

He came to a stop and turned. "What?" he asked disdainfully.

"Any chance of a toilet break?" asked Excel, "I always forget to go before I leave."

Smith frowned and looked at her in disgust. "Shut up."

"I thought a real man would show a women some respect. Guess I was expecting a bit much from a coward" she said.

Smith marched forward, boots clanging on the thin metal floor, the whole structure vibrating slightly. He reached Excel, looking at her in the face. He looked at her furiously.

"No more speaking from you."

He backed away, ready to continue walking. Excel gripped the lighter, pushing CJ away slightly.

"Oh just one more thing…" she started.

Yelling, Smith turned around as though to smack Excel. In a swift movement Excel reached up and switched on the lighter. CJ fell backwards, while Smith screamed as the thick gel within his hair ignited. Unsure whether to put out the fire, or kill the two prisoners, he hesitated.

He then reached down for the gun as the flames scalded his head, burning through the skin. Excel managed to grip his hand, and using much of her remaining strength, smacked it against the metal railing. She kicked him in the knee hard, which cracked loudly. As he gasped, she grabbed hold of his shirt, and tripping his legs, swung him over the railing. Shrieking manically, he fell, the bright burning flames slowly disappearing into the darkness, smashing into unseen machinery.

Excel turned away, and slumped down.

"Get out of here" she said.

"No one is going anywhere" said Kensuke, marching across to the two survivors, with guards behind him.

Excel swore quietly and dropped the lighter as the guards pointed their weapons at the two.

"A bit of overkill don't you think?" she asked.

"I would recommend you be silent. Especially after killing my right hand man. Being a good little girl may ensure you do not have to suffer too much."

"The last person who spoke like that ended up going bungee jumping without the rope" said Excel, flicking away the lighter which clanged its way down towards the darkness.

Kensuke leant down, and his gloved hand gripped Excel's hand tightly. He pulled Excel, now feeling faint, to her feet. He scowled, and looked at her with something resembling disgust.

"I fail to see how you can resort to sarcasm. You are in a very unenviable position right now. I think I could probably do nothing but sit and watch- and you would still die." He leant forward, staring her in the face. "Unfortunately for you I like to be proactive. Your death is mere minutes away. Guards, follow me. Lets see if we can draw the others out into the open."

The masked guards nodded, shoving CJ and Excel forward. The latter grunted in discomfort as they struck the deep wound in her back. Kensuke grinned wryly as he heard the muffled sound of pain. He gripped the holstered pistol tightly.

---

Elgala was crouched on the floor, staring out through a tiny pair of binoculars. From her vantage point, she could see much of the facility, a dull mix of metal and glass. Cold. Functional. Obviously designed by a man. A very dull man.

Beside her Hyatt mumbled something.

"No Senior, I haven't seen Excel yet" she said. "Are you sure that you don't need medical attention?"

"Hyatt ought to be able to last a little longer. Besides, I doubt you would get much help around here- owing to the fact everyone wants to kill us."

"Good point."

"If I die, just make sure to wake me up."

"Can do" said Elgala, giving a little salute. She turned back to the facility and gasped as she looked through the binoculars.

"I see Senior Excel! Oh…she seems to be hurt."

Il Palazzo frowned as the injured Excel limped into view. He sat uncomfortably, cramped in the overhead series of pipes that spread across and above much of the large base. Excel appeared, following the man he had been informed was named Kensuke. A boy, who was unknown to him followed Excel closely, both surrounded by guards.

They came to a stop on a large platform. Kensuke slowly turned, as though looking at the entire base. Something told Il Palazzo that this was bad news.

---

"I know you are out there!" yelled Kensuke. "One boy, one traitor, and three women arrived in this place. Before me stands one boy, and one girl. The traitor is dead. But that still leaves two people." He paused momentarily. "And I know Mr. Palazzo has escaped from his cell. You are very naughty Mr. Palazzo."

"Lord…Il Palazzo?" muttered Excel weakly.

"Shut up" spat Kensuke viciously. "Now then I have an offer for you. Come forwards, give yourselves up- and I do not shoot one of your friends."

He unclipped the holster, his large gun easy to reach now. He marched across to the two prisoners, and yanked CJ to his feet via his hair. He pointed the gun at the boys face.

"You have five seconds or I shoot the boy."

A faint hush fell upon the base. Kensuke gripped the gun tightly.

"Who am I kidding? You don't care about the boy."

CJ yelled as Kensuke turned, and fired once, Excel jolting backwards as the bullet ripped into her chest. Kensuke laughed as the small teenager ran to the shot agent.

"My, how compelling! How adorable!"

CJ crouched down, gently bringing Excel's head to a halt before it smacked into the ground. He looked down at the girl tearfully. How had all of this happened? She had just be an incompetent self stacker when he had met her. Now she lay dying in front of him.

She looked up at the boy.

"I-I failed. I failed my last mission. Don't do the same."

"No I won't! You haven't failed" said CJ gripping Excel's hand tightly. "You haven't failed! I'll do it for you! I promise you."

"I-it would have been nice to see Lord Il Palazzo one last time" she said. She let out a faint sigh, and her head slumped backwards. Blood slowly trickled from her mouth. CJ looked up at Kensuke, who stood, making full use of voyeuristic pleasure.

"You've killed her!" CJ yelled. "You bastard you killed her!"

"_What's happening?" asked Hyatt. "I heard gunshots."_

"_You don't want to know" said Elgala, gripping her legs tightly, resting her head on her knees. "Y-you don't want to know."_

"_Goodbye Senior Excel" said Hyatt. With that, Elgala felt the tears begin to flow. _

"_Goodbye Senior" she added. _


	14. El Finale

Chapter 14

Revolution Deathsquad

_Or _

_The final chapter _

CJ lay in silence next to the fallen Excel. Behind him Kensuke stood tall. Gripping the gun tightly, Kensuke began to spin around on the platform. Raising his arms in triumph he began to yell. His voice rang out across the base.

"Your friend is dead! I'm about to destroy this entire town! You should be running from here with your tails between your legs. I've won! I've finally won! And in five minutes, the rest of the world shall know!"

"This world is indeed corrupt" said a voice calmly from above. Kensuke glanced up. Somewhere in the roof? It sounded like that Il Palazzo person. Where was that fool. Kensuke glanced down at his watch. Five minutes until the end game. Beneath his feet he felt the engine of the weapon whirring into life.

He turned suddenly, as one of the guards hit the railing. Foolish man had slipped. The other two screamed as they were suddenly picked up in the air, and chucked across into the opposite wall. Kensuke gripped the gun tightly. What was this new devilry?

A flash of light blue from above. A moving mass of fabric fell from the roof high above. With a loud thud, the figure, covered with a cloak, landed upon the metal floor, across from Kensuke. It stood, unmoving. Kensuke grinned. This was going to be easy. Rising the gun, he pulled on the trigger. CJ turned away as it hit. The figure moved back slightly. The bullet had hit the man true. Kensuke stood with a faint grin. Had he beaten the man? Had he won already?

"It would appear your shooting is in fact as bad as your boasting" said Palazzo.

With a swift movement of the cloak, Il Palazzo revealed himself to Kensuke. In the grey glove of his left hand he held something small. With a slightly satisfied look, he turned to face Kensuke as he dropped the bullet to the floor. Kensuke gasped and backed away slightly. How could Il Palazzo do that?

"Do you have anymore?" asked Il Palazzo calmly.

"Bastard!" yelled Kensuke, pulling down on the trigger. "You will not stop me!"

Il Palazzo stood perfectly still as the bullets approached him. Closing his eyes, the cloak suddenly raised, a dark unseen force rising from deep within Il Palazzo. The bullets stopped in midair, melting, falling to the floor as molten lumps of metal. Kensuke backed away, bumping into the railing as the lights above cracked open, bathing the area in emergency lighting. The railing and metal floor buckled slightly, bent by the force. The walls encasing the weapon cracked, spilling liquid nitrogen, the weapons coolant, out onto the floor below the platform. Palazzo's eyes opened as the stairway to the platform started to collapse.

"W-what are you?" asked Kensuke. The railing dug into his back. Nowhere to run.

"I do not have to explain myself to you" replied the man.

Il Palazzo marched across to CJ and picked up the boy. Carefully he placed him upon the solid walkway connecting to the platform, before the stairway completely collapsed. Il Palazzo and Kensuke were now isolated upon the platform. CJ stood, confused, disorientated.

"Boy, do whatever it is you are supposed to do" stated Il Palazzo. "You will find Au in the prison complex."

"I know."

"Then go." CJ nodded, dumbfounded. He then turned, before running.

Il Palazzo then turned to face Kensuke. The crumpled figure of Excel rested almost pathetically upon the floor. Il Palazzo looked down at the dead girl. He'd never noticed how small she was. Never appreciated how hard she would always work for him. Despite always punishing or ignoring her. Always did whatever he said. Put her life on the line. He never even thanked her. Not once.

"She was the first person to join ACROSS, to work for me."

"What a tragedy" said Kensuke sarcastically.

"You are not a very good actor are you? I can hear the panic in your voice" said Il Palazzo. "The anxiety is clear to hear."

"Shall we hurry this up; I've still got two more of your bitches to kill."

Il Palazzo's eyes narrowed slightly. "Let us bring it to an end" he replied coolly.

"I must warn you Mr. Palazzo, I am well trained in the arts of Taekyon."

"I do not care for such trivial activities." Il Palazzo stood, and slowly removed his cloak. It slowly fluttered to the ground, as the platform shook slightly as the liquid nitrogen super-cooled the supports of the platform. The two stood, merely looking at one another for a seemingly long period of time. Kensuke frowned. Time to make the first move.

Kensuke yelled and charged. Il Palazzo dodged the attack and grabbed Kensuke's throat with his gloved hand. Kensuke gasped in surprise as Il Palazzo lifted him up. He reached up, trying to escape the grip. Il Palazzo looked through his glasses at Kensuke, fury finally flashing across his eyes. Kensuke gasped as the grip around his throat tightened.

"You have imprisoned me. Threatened and attempted to control _my _town. And now you have killed one of my agents. One of my…_friends_." Was that the word? Il Palazzo thought it was probably correct. That was what they all were to him. He lived an isolated life of loneliness…never allowed himself to be revealed to those his spent time around the most. And yet they had never turned from him.

"You killed Excel!" he yelled. Finally…emotion flowed through him. Something to feel…more then merely living for a cause- for control of the town. Humanity.

"Well, it looks like you aren't quite the unflappable opponent I took you to be" said Kensuke, with a resigned sense of fate. "Two minutes Palazzo. Now what?"

With nothing more then a mere exhalation, Il Palazzo swung his arm, and sent Kensuke flying into the wall. Kensuke screamed as he fell into the liquid nitrogen, the burning pain of the cold passing along his legs. Il Palazzo leant down and picked up a grenade from one of the unconscious guards.

He picked up his cloak, wrapping Excel in it. He leapt across, off of the platform, gripping Excel. He landed upon a solid walkway, placing Excel down on the floor gently. He then turned to face Kensuke, pulling out the pin. Kensuke watched wide-eyed as it fell. The equipment was too sensitive. His plans!

He screamed as the grenade detonated at face level. A vast explosion ripped through the already damaged electronics, ripping apart the very core of the weapon. Kensuke was vaporised, as powerful explosions ripped across the system. In the control room, Stamper screamed as he was torn apart by the shrapnel of the ripped apart system.

As the whole structure rumbled slightly, Il Palazzo marched away, carrying the body of Excel.

---

CJ ducked down as the building rumbled around him. What was going on up there? And who was that person? He groaned as he heard an emergency siren start. This entire structure could be falling apart above his head. He didn't know why he had to be here. He wasn't a hero, he wasn't even brave. He groaned. He just had to make a promise didn't he? He couldn't leave now…he could never look at himself again if he failed to keep the promise he made to a dying ally.

The lighting in the area was dim; many of the lights had exploded, showering CJ with specks of glass. But he knew where he was going. He was close now. Very soon this would end. It would either be success or fail but CJ could finally relax. Whatever happened…it would finally be over.

His footsteps echoed as the walls alongside him slowly cracked, first the dull paint, then the walls themselves becoming covered by thin cracks. CJ looked at the walls in shock, and breathed in deeply as he began to run faster. Finally, he knew he was close. He stepped up to the door, and took a deep breath before placing a hand on the door. It was unlocked.

"Mind if I join you?"

CJ turned in surprise to see Nabeshin standing beside him.

"You?!" asked CJ, shocked and scared by the silent arrival of the man with the impressive afro.

"I need to make sure it all happens as it should" said Nabeshin softly. "It needs to end now. There isn't much time" he said, pointing up to the crumbling ceiling.

CJ nodded and pushed open the door. Au, sitting on the poorly maintained bed, looked up in surprise as the two people entered the room. He recognized Nabeshin.

"You! What, here to finish me off?"

"In one way yes. It is time to end this now."

"End?"

"All of this…it need never have happened. One action can merge everything together, and bring the townspeople…everyone back."

"How?"

"The merging of you two."

"What?!"

"You are physically two entities. However you belong to one mental entity- you are both physical projections of the author within this world."

"Huh? But how does that help?" asked CJ.

"When you merge, you are removed from the story. You will never have a proper impact upon this world, and everything will return to normal. The writer will be as he should have been- a spectator rather then active character."

"But how can that happen?"

"This entire story is not canon. With the disruption of the fanfiction world, it reverts back to what is canon. What the latest situation is with the manga adaptation. And as such that brings the townspeople back. It brings Excel back."

"Sound like a bit of a deus ex machina to me" replied CJ.

"It is the only way out of this now" muttered Au, defeated. "And it is frequently used in the anime."

"Status quo ante" said Nabeshin. "The way things were before. Everything is back to the state it previously was."

Nabeshin gripped Au and CJ, pushing them together, ignoring their objections. They looked up at him in shock.

"What are you doing?!"

"Look into one another's eyes. You will see that you truly are one and the same."

"But I won't exist!" spluttered Au.

"You never did. You were only one part of a larger, complex personality."

CJ nodded and the two looked at one another. They both opened their eyes wide, and saw the same light blue eyes. So similar…

Nabeshin was thrown backwards as a bright flash of white light filled the room. He grinned. This was it! Odd mixtures of CJ's and Au's voice filled the room, as their bodies slowly disappeared.

Il Palazzo moved the cloak from Excel's face. Behind him, Hyatt and Elgala stood, unable to reach their commander. Hyatt gripped Menchi tightly. Elgala opened her mouth to speak…

"I am sorry Excel. I'm sorry I ignored you and the others. I-I never meant to." He slowly bowed his head. "I'm sorry."

Time froze. The cracks and rumblings ceased. The mottled colour of the gathered dead civilians disappeared, as their pulses returned. They looked around at one another surprised. Shattered glass and spilt blood vanished from the floor. The blood and wounds on Excel's body began to fade before vanishing completely.

Excel slowly opened her eyes to see Il Palazzo sitting in front of her.

"L-lord Il Palazzo?" she asked.

"Excel?" he asked.

"T-thank you" she said softly.

"What do you mean?" he asked, gripping Excel softly.

"I heard you. You don't need to apologize to me Lord Il Palazzo. Thank you for caring…"

"I don't know what you're talking about" said Il Palazzo, hiding the shock, and his momentarily flustered nature.

"I heard you."

"I think you must have been imagining things" he said softly.

"I see."

Il Palazzo gripped Excel's hand, and carefully pulled her to her feet. He adjusted his glasses.

"Why don't we return to Elgala and Hyatt? They appear to be getting impatient…and hungry" said Il Palazzo, Elgala looking at a worried Menchi with cruel intentions.

He pushed down and railing, and supporting Excel, walked across it to the others. Certain the others couldn't see, he smiled. Not a thin smile, but for the first time a smile of joy. Tip-toeing her way across the railing, Excel was soon reunited with the others, even Menchi momentarily happy. Elgala even failed to make a sarcastic comment.

"What orders do you have Lord Il Palazzo?" asked Hyatt.

"This world is corrupt. But it can wait for another day. I believe a meal is in order. I think the old saying is _I'm paying_."

"Hot damn, a hot meal" exclaimed Excel.

"Come on, lets get going" said Il Palazzo.

With Excel supported by Hyatt for the first time ever, they slowly left the building, which had never been renovated. Together they stepped out into the mall through the secret entrance, to find _their _people waiting.

Deep within the old building Nabeshin sat back against a wall. His afro had returned to its former glory. He slowly pulled a cigarette from his hair, and placed it in his mouth.

"You did good Nabeshin. You did good."

He sat back and took a puff from the cigarette in the empty room.

"Now how the hell do I get out of here again?"

THE END

"_I don't believe this!" yelled Watanabe. "The longest Excel saga fanfiction in over a year and we don't appear!"_

_Ut's a bloody disgrace. _

"_And neither me nor my creations turned up" said Shiouji. _

"_Great, as though I haven't had enough bad things happen" continued Watanabe with his rant. "Oh great" he moaned as Iwata appeared behind him._

_Iwata looked up at the sky. "Hey, any chance of throwing in a quick lemon fic of me with Matsuya?" he asked. _

"_Ah come on, it doesn't even have to be well written" he complained as Matsuya slowly walked up behind him with a look of murderous intent._

_"Um, Iwata..." _

THE END

_Whew, my first fanfiction completed in about two years. Certainly has been a long time coming. Thank you all. See you elsewhere. _


End file.
